GAMECHANGER | E3 2018: Post-hype analysis – Part II

Let’s continue the post-hype analysis of E3, in that kid-like way, but now we will focus on the BIG DOGS: Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony.

Microsoft came before Bethesda (which I already covered in the other text), and arrived fully loaded. Games to spare, firing in every direction! That is what people want to see, you know? “Ugh, but it’s not exclusive.” Dude, I couldn’t care less about that! The thing is, Microsoft showed a ton of games, stamped its holy trinity of exclusives (Forza, Gears and Halo) so no fan would be sad and moved on. Damn, I found myself wondering whether it would be worth getting an Xbawks One Ex after this conference. I got really excited, because it was extremely well paced… AND IT STILL ENDED WITH THE MARVEL CALLED CYBERPUNK 2077 THAT GOT ME VERY HYPED.

But that is a hype-free opinion, right?

The bad part is that, apart from a few points here and there, it was a very E3 presentation: lots of concept, lots of tease and little gameplay. Mind you, it is not exclusive to Microsoft: it was like that for everyone. Really. But something in M$’s presentation got me excited in a… not expected way. What could it have been? It wasn’t the Trailer/Gameplay of Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (Activision publishing, hello???), it wasn’t the Gameplay of The Division 2, the Tales of Vespeiro (sic) remaster, a new Battletoads or Cyberpunk’s own trailer. It was everything. It was M$’s intention to present games, more games and other games after that. Oh, and Ninja Theory is Uncle Gates’ studio now, along with 4 other studios.

Besides that, we had the reveal of Gears POP!, certainly the most badass game in existence.

I can’t wait for the Funko amiibo.

Sunday of emotions, right? I was really happy to see Microsoft reacting, after years of getting beaten at E3.

Yeah.

Monday, though, was strange. Because Shawn Layden began by saying that instead of a presentation bombarding us with new and creative content, we would get something different, focused on 4 pillars: Death Stranding, The Last of Us II, Ghosts of Tsushima and Spider-Man.

Because at the end of the night, Sony held its conference and started with The Last of Americans II (sic) in a stunning way. Then, we had a few DLC announcements here and there, and… FLUTE MASTER! Ghosts of Sushi on screen. Gorgeous 4K and animations that looked odd, but you get used to them. And then, a beating. Resident Evil 2 (or as it became known: Franz Kafka, the Game) Remake, Nioh 2 (which was nothing more than a trailer) and Death Stranding (which I still remain in the

belief is Metal Gear Solid 0 in disguise) and Spider-Man and… IT’S OVER.

Huh?

The feeling I had can be compared to coitus interruptus by someone coming into the room and, after breaking down the (bedroom) door, shouting “NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!”. A conference that, despite excellent titles shown (and though scarce), was left with a weird feeling and, frankly, castrated.

And, when it ended, I had a few certainties. Last of Us II will be cross-gen. Ghosts might be cross-gen. Maybe. Because all of that wasn’t running on a PS4 Pro. It’s not possible.

Gentlemen, we are officially entering the next generation of consoles. E3 2019, mark it and hold me to it, will be dedicated to the new platforms.

End of the normal conferences. Then it was Nintendo’s turn.

AHUAHUHAUHAUHAUHUAHUHAUAHUHAUHAUHAUHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUHA

Seriously. What a pathetic Direct.

But it served to reaffirm a bunch of things about Nintendo and the Switch. About Nintendo, if anyone had dreams of My-Body-Is-Ready conferences again… forget it. Nintendo is only not literally taking a dump on that because a company can’t take a dump. And the Switch is positioning itself more and more dangerously in the market. What was previously seen as a clear “second console” is becoming a tempting option, since (apparently) the hybridization of “styles” of libraries has worked.

And then, between Octopath Travelers and Fire Emblems, cool little things kept showing up here and there and-

“huh? wait, new Smash? With all the characters? Oh, even the- WAIT, EVEN THE DLCs OF THE LAST SMASH?! But my text is at the end already! And I called the Direct pathe- MY GOD RIDLEY IS PLAYABLE?! Is there still time to fix it? Ok, wait”

listen to this while reading the passage below

Ladies and gentlemen, Nintendo’s Direct was taken over by TWENTY MINUTES OF SMASH and I don’t regret it one bit. Therefore, it was a three-quarters pathetic direct. TWENTY MINUTES OF GLORY, showing SIXTY-FIVE playable characters, new mechanics, stages, items and so on.

Thank you, Goddess Nintendo.

That was a… strange E3. It wasn’t exactly bad, but it didn’t leave an exactly good taste either. Let’s get to what matters now, shall we?

RANKING OF THE PRESENTATIONS IN LITTLE STARS AND BRIEF COMMENTS (TL;DR Award)

EA – “No lootboxes! And no cool games! Anthem doesn’t look bad!” – ★★☆☆☆
Microsoft – “Phil the Thief, stole my heart. And E3” – ★★★★★
Bethesda – “Elder Scrolls VI only at the next World Cup.” – ★★★★☆
Square Enix – “ERROOOWWW” – ★☆☆☆☆
Ubisoft – “Winners don’t use drugs” – ★★★☆☆
Sony – “Could have been better. At least there was RE2 Remake” – ★★★☆☆

That’s it, little friends! In 2019, we’re back!